28 Slightly Embarrassing Products You’ll Probably Be Glad You Can Buy Online

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A Squatty Potty that’ll make using the bathroom a breeze for your bowels, it’s just that waiting in line with a poo-stool in your hand would really have you down in the ~dumps~.


Promising review: “I like to poop. It’s literally the first thing I do in the morning. This makes it even more enjoyable. I bought this about a month ago for my wife and I. We are pretty healthy people and have no ‘problems’ when it comes to #2. But with this you just sit down, put your feet up, and bombs away! It feels like a straight pipe coming from your colon. Remember those difficult to push out BM’s? No more! With just a slight push, you are done. Gravity takes over, and out it comes. This is how the human body was designed to poop. We literally pooped like this for thousands of years! I recommend this to all my friends, who laugh at me until they try it. Stop making it hard on yourself when you poop. This is by far the best bathroom accessory you can buy!” —jjl1911

Get it from Amazon for $24.99 (available in two sizes).


A foot file that’ll give your scratchy feet some silky smooth results worth drinking to!

amazon.com, amazon.com

Promising review: “Don’t even hesitate!! If you’re in search for a foot file, get this one! It is amazing. It only takes a couple of minutes to work off the dead skin and you will be shocked after the first swipe on your foot. I feel like I just got a pedicure done — a REALLY good one!” —RaSDow

Get it from Amazon for $9.99+ (available in two styles).


A weed cookbook for aspiring home-chefs who would rather not explain to the teller where they get their…ingredients.


This cookbook includes drool-worthy recipes like rib-eye with weed chimichurri, raspberry peach pie, french bread pizza, and spinach artichoke dip. Your tastebuds are gonna be covered no matter where the munchies take you!

Promising review:I was super surprised with how informative this book was. Besides having great recipes that span beyond baked sweets like brownies, it has info on terpenes, oils, butters and just about every other form of ingredients you could possibly need to prep these recipes as well as shopping, storage, dosing, foods to counteract the high when someone eats too much and a lot more I haven’t even delved into yet. I ordered a copy for myself as well as one for my daughter who is a chef in legal Las Vegas and I am really happy with how well done this book is compared to the last canna-recipe book I purchased.” —Monique Q.

Get it from Amazon for $22.34.


A shoe spray to greatly improve your rather pungent, sweaty scent (and buying it online means you won’t have to ~sweat-it~ at the register).


Promising review: “For some context, I am a college student. My dorm room is small and would quickly smell with a bad odor due to my shoes being taken off and left there. I use this product by spraying the inside of my shoes every time I take them off. This product does a good job at not only removing the bad smell of my shoes, but replacing it with a pleasing mint! At times, I also spray this directly onto my feet before putting my socks on. I will continue to buy this product for my shoe-smell needs.” —Chicago, IL

Get it from Amazon for $13.95 (available in three aromas).


A five pound gummy bear – it’s gonna taste delicious but it would be ~beary~ embarrassing if the public found out your sweeet dinner plans.

Amazon, amazon.com

Promising review: “If you’re looking for five pounds of pure sugar and cough syrup, look no further. It made me gag a little smelling it, but my son absolutely loved it. He freaking ate the whole thing! You actually need to use a fork and knife, because it’s pretty dense. This is actually pretty cool.” —L

Get it from Amazon for $20.99.


A tongue cat brush that’ll make your cat *incredibly* happy but would also make the line at the pet store incredibly awkward.


Promising review: “I bought it as a joke. But the cat seems to like it a lot.” —Simon B.

Get it from Amazon for $25 (available in two colors).


A lice kit – handy to have on hand when things get a little ~hairy~ at home, especially when you can avoid people giving your ‘do some stares at the grocery store.


Promising review: “This product is absolutely amazing and the comb is by far the best comb I have ever used when treating lice. I bought this kit because my daughter (who has dark, thick hair) brought home lice. I applied it to her dry hair and let it sit for 20 minutes and rinsed it out. I then combed her hair with the comb. This is the ONLY comb I have seen get the eggs out easily.” —SherryAndKeegan

Get it from Amazon for $22.95.


A boyfriend body pillow that’s gonna solve all your snuggling needs and be far easier to find online than an actual S.O. is.


Promising review: “Not only am I obsessed with this pillow, so are are my fur babies! I’ve honestly never slept better. It’s the perfect cuddle, with no morning breath or awkward goodbyes. This girl loves it! 🙌” —Caren Lewis

Get it from Amazon for $23.57+ (available in nine colors).


A hearty bottle of Poo-Pourri to keep your bathroom smelling beautiful, because we all know that everyone poops but we still like to pretend that fact doesn’t ~stink~.

Amazon, amazon.com

Promising review: “One bathroom in an apartment just isn’t enough for two adults with healthy colons. Enter Poo-Pourri. It has an amazing scent. It’s very fresh and not overpowering, and it isn’t synthetic smelling. With most room sprays, you end up just smelling flowery poo. This masks the smell completely. I can walk in the bathroom 30 seconds after my boyfriend and only smell lemon.” —Allison H

Get it from Amazon for $7.87 (available in 20 scents).


A pack of disposable urinals for camping and road trips and *not* for explaining to the fellow at the gas station why you’re only buying these and a 52oz soda.


This biodegradable pouch is filled with a unique polymer substance which absorbs liquid waste and turns it into an odorless, spill-proof gel.

Promising review: “As embarrassing as it is to admit, I used this in the car on a road trip. I didn’t know exactly what to expect but I was thrilled with the outcome! I pulled over, positioned myself over the bag, and it was easy peezy! The crystals absorbed the urine and there was no mess or smell. I have kids and these will work great for them too. I’m really glad I bought these. We travel with our dog EVERYWHERE and we can’t leave him in the car to stop for bathroom breaks at rest stops so these have already proven themselves perfect for traveling.” —Racquelle

Get a pack of six from Amazon for $9.87.


Or a Go Girl – might not be the conversation starter you wanna have with your cashier, but it’s gonna save the day when ~urine~ trouble and can’t find a bathroom.


Promising review: “I peed everywhere. That bush? Yep. Peed on it! That tree? Uh huh. Peed on it. Those tiny woodland creatures? Screw you, b*tches! Peed on them. You just hold it in place, pull your pants down just enough for it to stick out, and pee. No more taking your pants all the way off. No squatting. No accidentally peeing down the side of your leg. When you’re done you just shake it out, rinse it if you can, and stick it back into the container. Easy PEEsy.” —Dawn Elizabeth

Get it from Amazon for $9.99 (available in two colors).


A memory book that’ll cover the not-so-Instagram-worthy moments your family shares together. Nobody needs to know you’d rather record your kid’s worst bowl movements before their first steps.


Promising review: “It’s not always about the cute stuff! This book has been a must buy gift for all of my friends and family members who have had children or who are expecting. Everyone always gets a kick out of it and I like to think that somewhere down the road my nieces and nephews might enjoy reading it and laughing about the funny and disgusting things they put their family through. It definitely brings a much needed sense of humor to baby books! Because we all know that its not always about the adorable things children do that make us laugh.” —iknwxaclywhtthysay

Get it from Amazon for $7.79.


A hemorrhoid ointment for granting your bottom some relief (buying it online relieves you of having to go anywhere when you’re feeling so sore).


Promising review: “Oh man!!! This saved my bum….literally. Towards the end of my pregnancy I sprouted some unsightly and uncomfortable hemorrhoids, and then the birth happened. My backside was a war zone that lit up at the slightest touch, not to mention the road less traveled between there and the front line where I received an episiotomy. After the initial 24 hour wait, this tube of bliss was threatening to replace my husband on the list of most important things in my life. But seriously, it’s easy to apply and a little goes a LONG way. I used this every time I went to the bathroom for about five or six weeks and I still have half the tube left. It works wonders for more than just sphincters. I now buy a tube for every expectant mom that I know.” —KJzCola

Get it from Amazon for $19.88 (available in six styles).


A toilet wand that’ll scrub your toilet bowl and help scrub your mind of what *used* to be in there.


This includes one toilet want, one storage caddy, and six disposable pads.

Promising review: “We have a big family and I clean the toilets often. I remember when disposable toilet cleaners hit the market. I said ‘hallelujah!’ and never looked back. I’ve used every brand, but this wand is by far the best of the lot. It’s the most affordable too. Honestly, this is the one you want. It does a great job with minimal effort. It’s an unfailing boss of a toilet scrubber. The caddy takes up little space in comparison to others, the refills are affordable, and shipping is super fast. Highly recommend.” —Oregonians

Get it from Amazon for $7.93.


A bottle of bed bug spray best to buy from the privacy of your own pest-infested home, unless you’re prepared to watch everyone start phantom-scratching while standing next to you in line.


Promising review: “It all started with buying a used window AC unit. I then noticed bites on my daughter (she sleeps with me) so I had someone come help me check the bed. Sure enough we had bed bugs. Even though we were not infested I knew I needed to act quickly. So I purchased this product and treated the whole bedroom. Cracks, electrical outlets, bed, and box spring. I then bought mattress encasements we didn’t sleep in the room for a week while the powder was doing the trick. Needless to say I go in the room everyday to check and see if I find any bugs. And nope I haven’t seen any. This product works! I went ahead and purchased the spray also!” —Natasha Lyn

Get it from Amazon for $5.


A box of gas relief medication that’s easy to buy from the comfort of your own (currently pungent) apartment.


Promising review: “These are great, especially for ease of carrying on you or keeping in your vehicle. They are particularly useful after eating out at a restaurant or a friend’s place. They work great.” —Rico S.

Get the strips from Amazon for $12.74+ (available in two tablet types).


A DIY crafting book for clever crafters who will fur-ociously hide the evidence of where these cute critters came from.

Amazon, amazon.com, amazon.com

Promising review: “If cat hair is what you have then this book is what you need. Or if you have a super cat loving mother, such as myself, then you buy this for her for her birthday and laugh your arse off at her reaction to opening this as a present. Now my mom says she’s going to make me some cat hair mittens for Christmas. One can only hope!!” —Erin

Get it from Amazon for $10.49.


A bottle of Carpe antiperspirant foot lotion that just might finally get your perpetually sweaty feet dry…aside from the tears of joy they’ll be crying when this ships.


Promising review: “Bought this for my boyfriend who is on his feet all day and was always complaining about how sweaty his feet got. He usually had to bring at least one extra pair of socks to change into during the day. He also had to buy shoes more often because of how they smell. It would be impossible for us to get out the smell. Since he began using this product, he can’t believe how dry his feet stay ALL day. His socks don’t even smell after a full day of work. He’s now obsessed and it’s become a part of his daily routine.” —Amazon Customer

Get it from Amazon for $14.95.


A tube of toothpaste to ease your gums: buying it online is gonna ease your worries about people thinking it’s because you never floss (you sometimes floss).


Promising review: “I wish I could give more than five stars. I started using this two weeks ago and I have already seen a huge difference on my gums and teeth. My gums look healthy and my teeth are clean and even whiter!! I most definitely recommend this to anyone trying to bring their gums back to life.” —Amazon Customer

Get it from Amazon for $5.92.


A balm for help in clearing up toe jam, ringworm, and rashes basically as fast as you can click “add to cart.”


Promising review: “This is the best product I’ve ever spent money on. After using this for less than a week I have seen such major healing that I think Amazon needs a 10-star rating option! NO LIE….I’ve had a fungal foot infection I caught from gardening. I am very meticulous about hygiene. It has been awful dealing with the look of it and the itching. Sometimes I’d stay up all night because of it. It looked so bad I never took pictures without my shoes on. But after using this for just a week (I want to cry right now) it has cured my feet!” —pascale green

Get it from Amazon for $34.97.


A serial killer coloring book – a way to destress in this true-crime-loving world, but it’s sure to look ~sketchy~ to anyone who doesn’t share your…interests.


A box of anti-diarrhea medication that’ll soothe your stomach. This’ll be good to have on hand *before* you and your date go enjoy some all-you-can-eat chicken wings.


Promising review: “I can’t survive without these things. I have quite a sensitive stomach and any greasy or spicy food works like Drain-O on my stomach. So if I know I’m going to have some food like that I’ll use these to settle my stomach. Without these I would be stuck on the toilet for an hour or two. These things are a lifesaver to keep on you, and are essential for any home.” —Reviewer

Get it from Amazon for $6.68.


A nail biting polish you can grab online if having one more person telling you to stop biting your nails will be the final ~nail~ in your coffin.

amazon.com, amazon.com

Promising review: “This really helps!!! I’ve been biting my nails to the nub for 24 years. I have nails now and I don’t bite anymore; that’s all I wanted. This product made that happen. It taste SO bad, I never realized how much I subconsciously put my hands in my mouth until I used this. However, I figured I should warn you/give you guys a heads up, be prepared to taste this on ANY AND ALL foods you have to eat with your hands. To me, that was a small sacrifice I was DEFINITELY willing to make to get my nails to this point. I don’t even need to use it anymore because now I’m more aware of my nails. All in all, I HIGHLY recommend this product.” —Kelsey Walton

Get it from Amazon for $15.50.


A bag of marshmallow cereal (with only the marshmallows) that you’re gonna love…as long as nobody knows you’re a dentist who just bought marshmallows for breakfast.


Promising review:This is my soulmate snack. Buying these charms was one of the best decisions of my life. The bag is twice the size of my head. The marshmallows are aesthetically pleasing and delicious. It’s everything I ever wanted in a snack.” —Amazon Customer

Get it from Amazon for $10.99.


A caffeinated butt mask sure to wake up your skincare routine but likely scandalize the nosey shopper behind you in line. But hey, they could use a little self care wakeup call! All butts deserve love!


Promising review: “I will definitely be investing in more of these masks. I was a bit skeptical to try a must for my butt (lol) but I actually felt it work! I felt the firmness and detox! I would recommend trying it, I will be purchasing more for sure. Thumbs up!” —Lauren

Get it from Amazon for $9.95 (available in four styles).


A wine glass that’ll bring you joy every time you touch it, far more joy than you’d have if the teller were to say, “Wow! You must really love wine!”


Promising review: “This glass totally surpassed my expectations. I thought it was going to just be a cute gag gift but the quality is fantastic. It will last forever. I bought it for my aunt, who loves her wine, and she truly enjoyed this. I paired with a super sized bottle of Pinot Grigio and she was happy. :)” —Dani

Get it from Amazon for $14.99 (available in four styles).


An anti-fungal polish for anyone who can no longer stand the site of their fungus-filled nail art.

Amazon, amazon.com

Promising review: “This is a wonderful product. I was doubtful that a non-prescription would work, but this has. In about two months, the infected nails have peeled off and new nails have grown. All I did was put a layer over the toenail every night before going to bed. Highly recommended!” —Amazon Customer

Get it from Amazon for $15.49.


And finally, a four twenty candle for those who want to celebrate their favorite “holiday” every day. A candle this great is gonna be (drumroll please) dope.


Promising review: “I absolutely love the scent. I gave two to my daughter in laws, of course we had a laugh because I had no idea what four twenty meant and why there were Maryjane leaves on the boxes.” —Marsha P

Get it from Homesick for $29.95.

When my Amazon account sees how many of these I actually need:


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The reviews in this post have been edited for length and clarity.

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